I am Promilla

It’s Been One Week…

The very first thing I need to say is that I’m so proud of my niece and nephew. Their father – Husband’s twin – is in the ICU in Pittsburgh. It’s possible he may pass away; if he lives there will be a long recovery ahead. This past week, those two have faced insane choices and weighed courses of actions with uncertain outcomes – not a single thing has been easy. They are doing an amazing job handling all that they are going through and I wish I could hug them long enough and hard enough to ease their worry and stress. (R – if you’re reading this, I love you so much!)

And while news of this sadness was arriving, I was online celebrating my amazing week of publications. Thanks once again to Robert Vaughan, Meg Tuite, David O’Connor, and everyone at Bending Genres for publishing We’re Toast. Thank you Cal Marcius at Spelk for publishing The Difference Between Us. On Saturday, I Am Promilla, came out, so many thanks to everyone at Postcard Poems & Prose – especially Elizabeth Stark for her amazing “Promilla.”

The disconnect – online and RL – is surreal sometimes. Ben went to the dealer on 30 July and within a week he wouldn’t start – of course. He needed some repairs done, but since he won’t leave the driveway, I, too, am stuck here. Husband had been planning on taking Friday off to celebrate his birthday, but now he’s thinking of going to work. Because he’s the type of person he is, it wouldn’t surprise me if he figures out Ben’s problem, fixes it, the house gets painted and the crash bar on the front door is installed this weekend. Work is how he processes his feelings, writing is mine, but it’s all too sad right now. Things happened so fast…

And now, the waiting is so long. Yesterday, I walked out to the creek and as I neared the edge, a fledgling heron flew up and away from the spot where it had been feeding. Today, it’s a muggy 80+ degrees outside and the labyrinth is too muddy to walk so I’ll be inside, filing, maybe editing, thinking rando thoughts on the essence of being and hating myself for not saying I love you enough.

Sorry for the not so cheery read, but those are the creekside reflections for this week. And a hearty RIP to Bookman who I learned passed away last Thursday. Thanks universe for all the material, but I don’t really want it.

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Better days

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I came across a volunteer lily in the field. I found a different one last year. I’m beginning to wonder if Husband is doing this just to muck with my mind. I know I didn’t plant any in this area, yet they bloom.

Doing the things I know to help, have helped. I’m not in a dark place nor as prone as to slip back there – even when I was insulted at a Springville Center for the Arts event last night…

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There were two big changes that made a huge difference. The first was stepping down from my position as Managing Editor at Literary Orphans. I am sorry to disappoint Scott and Mike and everyone else, but it was the worst fit for me. I will be returning to Fiction Editor, a job I adore.

And secondly, in a strange twist, we have cable and high speed internet. For decades, AT&T and others swore it was too expensive to run lines this far. Spectrum came in and now we’re signed up for a 30 day trial of their bundled services. Everything was hooked up on Saturday. On Monday, AT&T called to say they could give us a better deal…right. It’s interesting to have so many channels. Husband and both adore being able to watch PBS; it didn’t come in in the summer with the rabbit ears. I still haven’t figured out this DVR, but I can get the one on Husband’s TV to work. It is such a relief to not worry about going over my data limit.

I took New Dog to the eternal flame. It was lit this time.

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The following Monday, I took him to the groomers. Here he is, acting mopey like Sampson.

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Next Saturday, “I AM PROMILLA,” comes out on Postcard Poems and Prose. I saw the mock up and it is delightful! Elizabeth did an excellent job. Also, “The Difference Between Us” will appear in Spelk. They choose the most interesting pieces over there. I am thrilled to share these two pieces wtih you and the rest of the world, so please do check them out. They are flash – it won’t take long them. Thanks in advance, and thank you for stopping by for the read!OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA